So, Raise your hands if this is familiar to you:
You know someone for a few years, sharing interests, hopes, dreams and aspirations, and that soon turns to love, and you marry and raise children. as the years flow on, you concentrate on making that life together perfect, and try and face the problems that life throws at you together, because thats what you do.
But after a while, slowly so you don't notice, gradually you drift apart, being pulled in many different directions takes its toll, but you are to afraid to address these issues and store them up inside, swallow them deep, and pretend they don't exist, until you find yourself sitting at other ends of the sofa, hardly talking. But thats ok, that is part of Marriage, can't expect fireworks all the time, right? But is it. When the rows start creeping in more than usual, when the kids a re snapped at because both of you are fed up, when you spend evenings in different rooms to avoid discussing the big problems you face, is that ok? and all the while, freinds, family and neighbours still think you have the perfect marriage, so you put on that mask when you are out, while inside you are dying.
The rows get worse, the kids get affected, and slowly the destruct button is pressed. Both of you trying desparately to salvage the situation, because you have kids, and to split when you have kids is a step that is still frowned upon by those family and friends who still see your painted smiles, and beleive them to be real.
Sounds familiar? that is what happened to me, and it damn near destroyed me, and facing up to that caused me a lot of problems last year, but know, I look back and realize that the right descision was made bravely, and wish I had the balls to make that 18 months earlier.
Hindsight is a wonderful thing sometimes. But this is just me personally, life isn't a one size fits all thing, but each must work their own solutions out in the end. there is no right answer.