That was the week that was.

phew. What a week. Started kicking of after WWW's usual nasties, athough this time she she attacked through my mother, which is unforgivable. I was upset for a couple of days, and took it all to heart too much. I just do not get WHY she is doing this. I mean, SHE left me, so is she trying to justify it all in someway by paintging me as the evil one in all of this? ME who worked my ass off over the years for her and the kids. ME who put up with her strange freindship with the other to asswipes, because I was her husband, and they were her freinds. ME who did more with the kids in a moth than she bothered to do in 10 years. Now I am seen as the villian. Well, she can just KISS MY ASS on that one. I will not give in on this, and will not be dictated to by her. Will fight back, and weill keep on fighting back until the world sees her her for the miserable lyning evil good for nothing lazy cow that she really is. GRRRRRRR

Ahem, on a happier note, HArrogate beckons, and I am so looking forward to that now. 5 days on crime novels, authors and damn good mates is just what I need.

Oh yes, and some good things happening on other fronts too....will keep ya posted.

Weird

Well, Having a mixed time at the moment. Really enjoyed spending yesterdays with my Girls - weldests birthday over the weekened, and made sure, with a little help from my parents and my cuz, that it was a good day. Back up to wonderfull daddy status again. But boy, the comedown is tough. I missed what we had planned for her birthday because of the situatiion, and I really miss having them around. did not have a good nights sleep, and was in a real down mood all day.
Work is beginning to worry me - so much so that I am beginning to job hunt again.I NEED to get out of sales.
The other thing that is bothering me is that I still feel stuck in limbo - just waiting to get the nod to sell the house, and, although I love it, and the location and everything, I need to be shot of the memories now - I have moved on in so much, but can't quite feell happy about the emptyness of this place - It used to be filled with so much fun and laughter over the years, and as much as I am trying, it is beginning to haunt me.

Lets have a postive - one of my best mates came down last weekend, and had a really great time - I can't beleive that this was the first time we actually met "in the flesh" - we talk both on the phone and on t'internet so much, and I am glad that we both went away not dissapointed. Harrogate is looming, and I am really exited about it now - Will be seeing some really good mates, and (hopefully) forging some new freindship on the way.

Right, just need to sort my head out, and will be back to my usual sunny self.

Ok, so what, Life can get in the way if it wants to.

OK, a lot to catch up on, I have been very remiss about posting on here of late, mainly because life has a habit of sneaking up on me, catching me unawares, and leaving me precious little time for this.

So, went to court , got more time with the girls, which is great, but still supervised, which is less so. It is putting a strain on an already strained relationship with my parents, I mean, I am grateful to them for doing this, but with them it always comes with a condition or many attached - I find myself, at 37, having to justify why I am who I am, why I have not curled up in a darkened room every night, why I have a social life, and that is beginning to piss me off big time. But still, It's only once a fortnight, and that is bearable I suppose.

What came with the court was her statement, which is as big a work of fiction as any contender for the Booker prize. In order to defend myself, I have to resort to dragging her through the mud, again, I have to justify everything, It seams that since the events of the 2nd jan, she can use that as a reason for everything. I am disgusted as well, by what I have been hearing about what i going on, or perceived to be going on, by the community about those three, and the fact that my kids are exposed to it is worrying me greatly. I am hoping that when all the reports are done and dusted, the truth Will come out, and things can get better.

Work is, well, work, although new opportunities may be presenting themselves, which would be good.

As to the female situation, well, I don't know what is going on, but I am going to have fun finding out.

Three big events coming up, firstly, the midsummer solstice celebrations at the long man on Sunday. I missed the Beltane - kids visit day, but I am looking forward to going back. Then, beginning of July, I finally get to meet in person the woman who I count as my best mnate - Even though we have shared tears, laughter, (and that confusion months ago) - that we talk/text/msn daily, and are very close, we have never actually met. I am looking forward to it. And finally, 5 weeks time, I will be in Harrogate, at the Theakstons old peculiar crime festival. I can't wait. So many new and old faces to see, and so many writers up there, It is going to be the highlight of the year so far for me.

Well, I will try and not leave it so long until I post again, so, take care, enjoy yourselves and above all, find one thing oin your day to make you smile.

The Nature of the Beast*

So, back to the Blog. And a thought, that has stayed my hand for the past couple of months. THis is supposed to be my thoughts, my coping with it all, and yet If I write about stuff on here, and people read it, and get upset, or even worse, use it against me, how do I react when I I am talking about stuff on here that maybe should remain private. Well, I have wrastled with this problem for days now, and come to this conclusion, Nothing I say on here is nothing I am afraid to say to there faces, so If I post ity on here, you know about it already. If you don't like it, don't read it.....

So, whats been happening in Ronnieland of late. Well, the girls fiorst. I am kinda settling down into the routine of seeing them as and how I do. I miss them terribly, and worry about them, I am still not happy with their livingarrangements, BUT I can't do anything about it for now, so I ave to sit tight, and try not to let it worry me, it is not going to consuke me anymore, I have my life to lead, and I ned to stride towards it, not dwell on what I am missing - Wu Wei - go with the flow.

So, What has been happening? well, job going well, and I am enjoying it , which is good. And so onto to the personal life....lets just say that someone new has entered my life in a big way, and I haven't stopped grinning all week. Lets see eh.

(* Sorry smudge mate, appropiate title)

Things are Moving

OK, So, got my draft Divorce papers through today, things are beginning to happen, and that is giving me a good feeling right now. I am happier that I have been for years, if the truth be told. (apart from the situation with my girls of course)

The one thing I have gained out of all of this is good freinds. To all of you, I say thanks. My only problem is the majotity of them are scatterred far and wide, soo meeting up "in the flesh" is hard. That will have to change when I am down to 5 day weeks. I will have to spend some time just VISITING people.thanks to the wonders of tinternet, I able able to spend my evenings in fantastic company, but sometimes you need to actually see people in the flesh.

Still, I now while away the most of my evenings on Poker on F/b. All for fun of course, and a new bunch of peeps that I am glad to have freinds. John, Bry, chelle, Carla, kelly jim and Karen, great bunch all. Ta to Vix for introducing me. Again, all scattered, but hey, its a fun way to spend the evening.

well, other stuff going well, all in all ....you know what...I'm happy!!

an update

Sorry peeps, I have not been as often posting on here of late. Truth is, I have nothing much to say. Work is going OK, a lot to absorb, quickly, and now the real test begins, turning in results. I am confident there.
I miss the girls terribly, one afternoon a fortninght is not enough time to spend with them, But again, I have to bite down hard on all of that, and play their game, at l;east until common sense can prevail again. I hate the three of them for what they have done to me, and I will grab with both hands the chance to watch hthe hoisted by their own petard. Time will out, and the truth will come out, and then, well, I look forward to that moment,.
Apart from that, life is ticking nicly. Spend far too much time on facebook, and on Poker in the evenings, no money, don't panic, butt it is a fun way to relax, and chat to new and existing freinds.
Because that really is what it is all about, freinds. People who laugh, cry and support each other, and I am lucky to have such good ones.

Well, I'm sitting here enjoying a rare treat - have treated myself to kebab and chips, because I feel I desrve it. It's bben a hard week - so much to learn, take in and do in the new job leaves me all but fried by the time I get home. Plus myy day off is spent working because I have to, unpaid, so I don't get much time off.
My life is still governed partly by the lies from the liers mouth, unless I get proof of what she says I doubt it all. It's safer that way and I would rather deal with it that way from the outset, than pretend it's truthe truth, untill it kicks me up the arse later.
I am slowly starting to sort the dosh related stuff out, easier now I have a job, so less worries on my mind.

So what else has been happening??? Well lets just say the grin on my face has got larger this week, because, well, lets just sayy that things are right again, that I am not afraid to walk down that road with someone, because hell, the journey as just as good as the detination, esp when it is with a foxy lady like her. AS for down the line, who knows, lets just enjoy the moment.

(done it again, WAY to much Kebab. never mind. Jake loves kebab esp with chilli sauce, so he has enjoyed it too.)

Started to draw aces again.